DefinitelyNotAnElfWithWiFi
Display Name: Tinsel “Not an Elf” McGee
Username: @WiFiInTheWoods
Bio:
Not an elf.
Forest-based internet enthusiast.
Sounding the alarm on suspicious snack orders.
Profile Pic: Cartoon elf in a tinfoil hat holding binoculars.
Followers: 2.3k
Joined: December 2022
Pinned Post: “It’s not paranoia if the goblins are in marketing.”
“We’ve seen the internal memos. We’ve intercepted the snack orders. Dungeon Dunce isn’t a game, it’s a weapon. Designed to divide families, derail dinner plans, and cause dice-based breakdowns in at least three age brackets.
Early drafts included rules for flammable kittens and a monster called ‘The Screaming Stepdad.’ These were cut, but the intent remains.
Protect your sprogs. Ban this game. Also, someone tell Gary from Layout his lunch is still in the microwave.”
Red Cape Publishing 